How Can I Remember
by ljevotter
Summary: She had been waiting for this moment her entire lifetime. Everything seemed brighter than usual and she had reverted back to her teenage self. When the door opened, the person she least expected stood there. A take on the "solarium scene" from 'Sabrina' (1995)


Clad in black dress robe and a Swarovski-littered bolero, she wandered across the solarium. Her heels clacked against the concrete. Each step matched the ever-racing rhythm of her heart. That particular spot mere centimeters away from her nose still tingled, where his lips had brushed off momentarily. Her stomach did somersaults like no tomorrow. Her fingers grazed the plant. She bit her lip, unable to contain her toothy grin. Twenty-five year old Lily Evans finally had the opportunity to be one of _those_ girls.

But was she really sure that she wanted to meet Sirius Black in here? In the_ solarium_, no less, where he charmed every girl off her feet ever since she could remember. She has loved Sirius Black all her life, but why did panic rise in her chest as she counted off the seconds and minutes until he would arrive. She should be comfortable around him…right? He did know her since she was two.

Behind her, a miniscule _tink _caught her notice. The panic ceased. She turned on her heel. _That smile,_ she intended to only send his way, erupted on her face she came face-to-face with…

James Potter?

The smile wiped down her face. 'James.' Her tone was reluctant and befuddled.

'Hello Lily.' greeted James gruffly. Those hazel eyes… his face stoic. Those eyes have instilled fear as they bore down on her as a child. 'I have a message from Sirius. He won't be able to make it. He sent me.'

Lily nudged her head down, suddenly interested in the velvety material of her gown. Her vision paused at James' figure. She must look like a hopeful arse in front of him right now.

'I'm sorry. You're upset.' There was something with James' tone, as if his expectations had been granted. She clenched her fist behind her and raised her head. He continued, 'Of course.'

'Yes. No. I don't know. I'm a little tired.' She shrugged, relaxing her wrist. Chuckling, she fumbled with her earring. Then her hair. 'Why didn't he come?'

The dark-haired looked up. His hand attempted to open the champagne bottle. 'He was on his way. He had a slight accident. He sat on a champagne flute.'

Worry etched on her delicate features. She felt her feet move against her will. 'Is he okay?'

'He's in the emergency room.'

'Emergency room?' said she, weakly.

A smirk was barely visible but it was in his tone. 'It was a sharp flute.'

_Bloody hell. Maybe it's my fault- _

'Hey, that's a little joke.' quipped James, the cork bursting free from the constricted hole.

She exhaled. 'Should I drive over to see him?' she cranked her head to the side.

He poured champagne into the flute. 'He'll be fine.' She could feel his eyes dart on her as he moved towards her. She felt the juvenile fear of him creep over her. 'Couple of stitches. You could see him tomorrow.' He handed her the flute.

'What's this for?' asked Lily, looking down at the flute then up at him.

He bobbed his head, gesturing to the flute. 'Part of the message. From Sirius.'

'They've sent you to deal with me, haven't they?'

James had the brim of the flute near to his lips but retracted them back. 'They?'

She stepped back. 'Like a lawyer in a movie.' She answered. 'He goes to the unsuitable waitress…or showgirl or _chauffeur's daughter _and says that the family is prepared to offer you 100,000 galleons to stay away from their son.' The bitter taste of champagne cascaded down her throat. 'No' she says. '150,000' 'No.'-'

'-200,000' interrupted James.

'No.' she answered, a hint of anger on her tone.

'A million.' said he, near a whisper.

She stood affixed. The flute froze close to her lips. 'No.' she said under her breath.

He didn't seem to have heard her. He smirked, the tightness of his face gone. 'No self-respecting lawyer would offer less.' He said in a condescending tone. _As if she was supposed to know._

She placed the flute down. 'No self-respecting waitress… would take it.'

'Good girl.' commented James, appearing proud.

Lily looked at him, wary of his tone then turned around. 'I've loved him all my life.' A six-word story that gripped her heart…

'Have you?'

'I thought I was over it.' She continued, as if in defense of a topic in a debate.

'Surprise, surprise.'

She spun her trunk. 'You don't object?'

'Object? To you?' Looking disgusted at the idea, at the thought.' 'Look at you. It's as though a lovely breeze has swept through this whole house.'

She felt flattered, 'Even though the breeze… comes from the general direction of the garage?'

'It's the 90s, Lily.' 'So they say.'

_How can I remember things that never happened?_

She closed her eyes, relishing the soft tones. If he had come, she would have already been swept into his arms. Those arms that had taken hold of her body as they danced earlier. She would have been breathless because she wouldn't have been able to break the moment. She shielded her face from James' view, unwanted to show him the face that held regret and longing.

_Arms that never held me_

_Lips I've never kissed_

The song felt as if it were in her soul, hypnotizing her to follow. 'They played that the night before I left for Paris.' She said to herself more than to him.

'They often do play that.' She heard a _clink_. He must have placed his flute down.

'Hm... He was dancing right here with someone.'

A few steps signaled that he was walking towards her. 'He often does do that. And tonight,' She turned around at the sudden volume rise. 'You wanted it to be you.'

She shrugged in response, feeling helpless and hopeless. A hand reached for waist. Her eyes followed its general direction. His other hand up, offered. Doubt overcame her first. Unsure if he was alright. Taking risks, she wounded her fingers around his. They moved closer. A _surprising _warmth flooded through her skin. Her figure forced to sway as he led.

_'_I never thought of you as a dancer.'

_I don't know why-or-when-or where._

'It's in the family.'

_I feel suspended in the air._

'Crazy about it.' He chuckled.

She stored his words in her thoughts. He surprised her.

'In all those years, I never saw you do this-meet a girl here with champagne.'

'Never did it before.'

She corrected. 'You never had to before.'

'Is it impossible to believe that I wanted to dance with the prettiest girl at the party?' inquired James, an edge of offense on his tone.

'Thank you. Yes, it is impossible.'

'Then you don't know me.' Then added 'Oh, I almost forgot' He dipped his face and captured her lips. There was a momentary spark. A sudden burst of feeling behind her eyelids. She drew back, wide-eyed, more of because the feeling rather than the action. 'The rest of the message from Sirius.' He answered to her look.

She slapped him. Hard. _What the hell Evans?! _Then redeemed her composure… touching his arm in hope of consolation. 'Oh…'

'Thanks,' James placed a hand on the reddening cheek. 'I needed that.'

'What am I doing? I should have never-'

'-No, I apologize-'

'-I should have never- you have my hand print on your' she gestured to her cheek, 'face.'

His shoulders tightened, probably resisting the prickling pain. 'Maybe it's better if you picked up your messages in person. You'll see Sirius tomorrow.'

'Good night.'

She watched him as he approached the door.

And he departed, grabbing the flute.


End file.
